— Horse walks into a bar, orders a drink.
Bartender pours the drink, puts it down on the bar in front of the horse.
He looks at the horse and asks……..
“Why the long face?”
— Detroit Lions haven’t won a playoff game since 1991; they’re favored in 11 of their first 14 games this season. High expectations for a team that last made the playoffs in 2016.
— Nationals 12, Royals 10— Luis Garcia went 6-for-6, just third time in Nationals/Expos history a player had six hits in one game.
Kansas City is 0-11 in Jordan Lyles’ starts; he allowed only one run in first five innings, but the wheels came off in the sixth inning, when Washington scored eight runs.
— Pirates 11, Mariners 6— Pittsburgh hit seven home runs, third time in franchise history they did that— other times were 2003, 1947.
— Reds 9, Cubs 0— Hunter Greene needed 110 pitches to throw six innings, but he didn’t allow any hits or runs in those six innings— he walked two guys.
— Phillies 6, Braves 4— Craig Kimbrel earned his 400th career save. Bryson Stott stole three bases, scored two runs.
— Rangers 12, Orioles 2— Texas scored 8 runs in 4th inning; Corey Seager hit a grand slam.
— Rays 9, Dodgers 3— Tampa Bay is the first team since 1998 to start a season 25-5 or better at home.
— Guardians 4, Cardinals 3— Cleveland wins for only third time in last ten games.
— Giants 15, Brewers 1— Saw something I’ve never seen before in this game; top of the second inning, Giants’ manager Gabe Kapler is leaning on the dugout rail, eating an apple while his team hit. They scored three runs that inning, so I’m guessing he’ll be eating another apple during Saturday’s game.
Milwaukee SS Willie Adames was hit in the head by a line drive while sitting in the dugout; he got sent to the hospital for observation.
— Thursday night, White Sox pitchers walked 11 Detroit batters; their hitters didn’t draw any walks. First time that happened to the White Sox since July 31, 1984 against the Red Sox.
— College basketball doubleheader in Phoenix December 20:
— Arizona Cardinals released WR DeAndre Hopkins, taking the $22.6M dead cap hit for this coming season. Hopkins played for Arizona for three years; he’s made the Pro Bowl five times.
— New Orleans Saints brought Jon Gruden in to help them install their offense with their new QB Derek Carr, who played 3+ seasons under Gruden with the Raiders.
— Mater Dei HS in Los Angeles released its football schedule; their first five games this fall are in five different states. Who pays for all that travel?
— George Washington University dumped the nickname Colonials, after students complained that the name glorified violence toward Native Americans and other colonized people. The new moniker is Revolutionaries going forward— I’m guessing it’ll be Revs most of the time.
— Denver Nuggets have a long wait until the NBA Finals start Thursday; they can’t prepare for an opponent yet— they don’t know who it will be. Bit of a dilemma for coach Michael Malone, but a good problem to have, no doubt.